Picture this: It’s 6:07pm the other night, and I’m chasing Kyler around
the room, like I do most every night (sans meatcleaver, thank you).
Suddenly the doorbell rings. Calling a “time-out” from our race, I rush
over to the door (always hoping it’s something from UPS that I forgot I
won on eBay). Throwing it open with glee, I quickly frown, as it’s not
the UPS guy. This guy had greasy hair and was wearing jeans and a black
leather jacket. With a chain or two hanging off of it.

Nope. Definitely not UPS.

Stepping outside, the conversation goes something like this:

“Hi! What’s up?” I ask.

“Oh, hey man,” Greasy begins, “I’m going around the neighborhood here
and I’m selling top-notch, high-quality cut meats.”

“Okay…”

He points a finger to a white, windowless van idling over at the curb.
“I have that van stocked full of the choices meats, all guaranteed for a
year from now…”

I stare at him blankly.

“And…” he continues, unfazed, “Just to show you that we’re the real
deal and not just some fly-by-night company, you can see here” (whips
out a laminated flyer) “where our contact information is and how to get
in touch with us in the future. Seriously,” he continues, shoving the
flyer back in whatever pocket it appeared from, “These are the best
meat you’ve had in a long time, and they’re guaranteed for an entire
year!!”

I nodded. “Ah.. thanks, but I think I’ll have to pass for now. Good
luck, though!”

“Okay, man. Thanks!” And off he goes, tromping back to the van… or to
a neighbor’s house… I didn’t really know or care…

Sounds strange? Imagine being in my shoes, on the porch, having a total
stranger offer to sell me meat from his van.

I’ve never, EVER heard of such a thing, and I’m racking my brain to
figure out what the catch is. Where the con is. Is he scoping houses to
see who’s home and when? I have no idea. I’m clueless as to the true
purpose of the Mystery Meat Street Vendor, so if anyone out there has
any insights, be sure to share them…

Who knows? Maybe he was just too high on crack to know what he was
doing… baffles the brain, it does…

Kevin