September – December 2011
When my family moved from Lubbock, Texas to Washington, D.C. in September, I immediately started praying to God and asking Him what He wanted me to work on as my first priority (i.e., promoting my book, Baby Codes, write a follow-up book, work on iPhone apps, develop consumer products, etc.). To my surprise (and somewhat dismay), He clearly led me to “WAIT.” As in, to do absolutely nothing, work-wise. At the same time, I also felt Him prompting me to become bolder in sharing my faith.
So September plodded by. And October. Then November. December. Throughout these months, I felt increasingly distant from God. Constantly praying for guidance, a specific leading, something to do that would feel “productive,” instead of just… waiting. But there was nothing. Just silence.
Looking back, I now realize this time was critical by forcing me to reexamine my faith more closely and acknowledging exactly how shallow it could be at times. Sure, I say I’ll do whatever He leads me to do, to follow where He leads, but my own personal comfort was still my secret idol, at times causing me to trump His promptings.
Do nothing but wait on Him? Agonizing. But the longer I did nothing, the more I was able to relax and just rest in His presence and in His promises. Rather than being so focused on what I wanted Him to give, I redirected my attention to worship The Giver. When presented with the choice between being obedient to what I felt God was leading me to do or being comfortable, I decided to choose obedience.
One direct result of waiting on God and experiencing His silence was my drawing closer to Him. Granted, it was between pity parties, confusion, fist-shaking and basic immaturity all around, but I pressed into Him and sought His presence regardless. More than seeking a word or divine direction, however, I primarily just prayed for His presence.
In the end, I believe that His suggestion to stop working and just WAIT, along with His subsequent silence, were combined for one specific purpose: to position me squarely at His feet, free of work commitments, distractions and background noise, to hear what He had to say next.
(To be continued…)