This is a story that a friend of mine shared. I thought it would make for good reading as we continue our “Meat Street Saga.”

- Kevin

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In Omaha one day, years ago, I was outside a PC computer and parts retailer — right in the middle of town. It was a Spring day, and as I got ready to get into my car a plump, Mafioso-looking guy pulled up in a white, non-full-sized pickup truck (think Chevy S-10) with a low topper on the bed. The topper had a ridge running lengthwise down the center of the bed and insulated, fiberglass doors which opened up, hinged along the ridge.

Guido (or Vinny — had to be one of the two) got out and made his introduction. He was clearly from New Yahwk or thereabouts. No one could have stood out more smack dab in the heart of the midwestern plains. Like your experience, it was about the strangest thing I had ever seen. He had slicked black hair, a prosperous belly, gold chain, wide collars, and was about 50. He caught me and another customer (who was on the way in) and started his pitch.

(Guido) “So, ya got a computah dare, huh? Yeh evuh hafta get dose tings cleaned out? Huh? About how awftun do yuh hafta get dose tings cleaned?”

(Me) “???????????????????????????”

(Other guy) “????????????????????????”

(Guido) “Hey I wanna show you guys dis. You interested in some really nice steak and lobstuh? [opens a lid on the pickup revealing a pit filled with small ice cubes, vacuum-sealed steak pieces, and lobster tails.

Guido lifts out a convenient lobster tail Dees are really nice pieces hee-uh (“here”)”

(Me) [Strangely smiling, because that's what you do when you're nervous/curious “Umm, no thanks.”

As I got into my car and left, Guido was still pitching the ingoing patron.