Beware The Meat Street Vendor.

Picture this: It’s 6:07pm the other night, and I’m chasing Kyler around

the room, like I do most every night (sans meatcleaver, thank you).

Suddenly the doorbell rings. Calling a “time-out” from our race, I rush

over to the door (always hoping it’s something from UPS that I forgot I

won on eBay). Throwing it open with glee, I quickly frown, as it’s not

the UPS guy. This guy had greasy hair and was wearing jeans and a black

leather jacket. With a chain or two hanging off of it.

Nope. Definitely not UPS.

Stepping outside, the conversation goes something like this:

“Hi! What’s up?” I ask.

“Oh, hey man,” Greasy begins, “I’m going around the neighborhood here

and I’m selling top-notch, high-quality cut meats.”

“Okay…”

He points a finger to a white, windowless van idling over at the curb.

“I have that van stocked full of the choices meats, all guaranteed for a

year from now…”

I stare at him blankly.

“And…” he continues, unfazed, “Just to show you that we’re the real

deal and not just some fly-by-night company, you can see here” (whips

out a laminated flyer) “where our contact information is and how to get

in touch with us in the future. Seriously,” he continues, shoving the

flyer back in whatever pocket it appeared from, “These are the best

meat you’ve had in a long time, and they’re guaranteed for an entire

year!!”

I nodded. “Ah.. thanks, but I think I’ll have to pass for now. Good

luck, though!”

“Okay, man. Thanks!” And off he goes, tromping back to the van… or to

a neighbor’s house… I didn’t really know or care…

Sounds strange? Imagine being in my shoes, on the porch, having a total

stranger offer to sell me meat from his van.

I’ve never, EVER heard of such a thing, and I’m racking my brain to

figure out what the catch is. Where the con is. Is he scoping houses to

see who’s home and when? I have no idea. I’m clueless as to the true

purpose of the Mystery Meat Street Vendor, so if anyone out there has

any insights, be sure to share them…

Who knows? Maybe he was just too high on crack to know what he was

doing… baffles the brain, it does…

Kevin